Six Weeks Notice - #MerryChristmas

Thanks to ridiculous policies and endless Propositions, I have left the ungovernable Republic of California. I am now in the Empire State and things are only a little better financially.

I must have incurred some serious job karma for bragging that I "got a full time job with benefits after driving cross country with no prospects only two weeks after arriving in NY" because I was just told yesterday by my manager that my store will be closing on Jan 25, 2012 and that we must vacate by Jan 31, 2012. There are no current opportunities for transfer. Another store in our district is also closing.

On the bright side, working full time has raised what my unemployment payout will be.
Happy Holidays.

I Haz Cookey Nao?

I got the above image from actor Kevin Sorbo's twitter feed (@KSorbs). See last year when I wrote "Should I Realy Be Blogging,"I thought of myself as a Liberal, and I thought this was a good thing. I was exploring other points of view because people I had been trained/socialized/conditioned to listen to weren't making sense to me anymore or were just offending me with their rudeness and/or hysteria.
This is actually one of the more inocuous status updates this particular facebook friend posted. I only have the redacted screencap because it was also posted on twitter so I saved it when I saw it.

I started watching an online talk show called The Stage Right Show and got invited/sucked/absorbed into its chatroom culture. The folks were friendly and THEY MADE SENSE. The more I listened to the host, guests, and interacted with the chatroom regulars (and occasionally the trolls), the more I realized that I agreed with many of them... on MANY issues.

I had gone to one of their events and met some bloggers and radio hosts and one of them told me, based on my answers about specific issues that I wasn't a Fiscally Conservative Liberal but a Libertarian.

As the year went on, I had more education setbacks (thank you California Community College District) and had do deal with potentially more industry regulations for my profession (AB 1822) which drastically changed my worldview.

I swung through the pendulum to the Dark Side; I had become a CONSERVATIVE.

(and the Dark Side does have cookies)

TO BE CONTINUED...

I qualify for unemployment. Thank You... but I'd rather work.

I've worked multiple jobs in a variety of industries for the past 25 years, but was laid off from a part-time job in an acupuncture clinic this month.

When I was laid off, everyone (including my now former employer) said "Oh, but you can collect unemployment!" like it was some pinnacle career acheivment. I've been on unemployment. I did not like unemployment. I do NOT WANT TO BE ON UNEMPLOYMENT - I WANT TO WORK.

Unemployment benefits are calculated on the previous 18 months income. Unfortunately, my employer decided to close her clinic and go to Israel for 6 weeks in July/August. Combine this with most of my clients being in the film and television industry (end of hiatus = low funds or no time for massage) and I had next to no income all of August. Explains the "growing more resentful" comment from December, eh?

My salary at the clinic was $12/hr and I was scheduled for 20hrs/wk. I made a whopping $240 per week. This was my "rent" job because it covered my rent, utilities, and occasionally my DSL if I worked overtime. Thank G-d for rent control. The job that allegedly pays my credit card debt (from my forced underemployment in August), school tuition and fees, charity expenses, and the occasional beer that is my social life is my massage business. Unfortunately, my best client has now decided to "take a break" and I am out $1110 per month until I can recruit more clients. Easier said than done.

My monthly "nut" (rent, dwp, phone, insurance, car) is $2200/month. If I'm lucky, I make $200/wk at the spa. I've gotten a couple of potential new prvate clients but no one willing to commit to a weekly, biweekly, or even monthly schedule. If I work half price ($45/hr massage), I need at least 12 1-hour appointments from private clients each week to cover my nut and business related expenses.

I'm being more aggressive in my marketing and picking up extra shifts and I've been dogsitting and doing some freelance administrative work to make ends meet but the job scramble means school is on hold (again). I was supposed to start nursing school this fall but the California budget cuts meant the classes I need were not being offered. Now it looks like I may have to move back in with my folks inorder to start school next fall.

*SIGH*

If my "pounds" were Sterling...

Sean Connery's wife was right, never say "never again."

• I SWORE I would never be a size 18; the $604.12 charged to Lane Bryant Christmas eve nixes that.
• I swore I would NEVER max out my credt cards; Discover $104 available, MC $1,000 avail (out of $13,500) and I got a new Amex with $53 left on it. (If you're the type to try and calculate fees and such: Discover = $42 min due 1/19/10, Amex = $24 due 1/19/10, MC = $142 due 1/17/10)
• I said I would never stay in a job I hated; well I don't hate my job but I am growing more resentful.
• I might have said I wouldn't stop training once I started again; fired my personal trainer last thursday because I can't bring myself to get up at 5:30 to be at her house by 6:15am.

This is ridiculous. IF I had stuck to my most recent diet pledge, I would weigh 12-16 pounds less than I do now and I would have been spending money on sexy size 14 outfits. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas (O.k., fine, on my birthday), I decided t'hell with the diet, I'll deal with everything after new years.

I'm the only person I know who can lose 1 1/2 pounds and GAIN TWO SIZES!

This is just very wrong. It's midnight and I probably could have (should have) gone for a walk. I tried to excercise at work today but that was more than a little depressing. I am out of shape and have a lung or sinus infection (dark yellow, greenish flem means infection NOT allergies) but I'm not hacking. It's on the edge; the throat is coated just enough that when I do exert myself, I'm hacking like a T.B. patient.

LOVELY.

Pound for pound, I'm worth $375.20 which is a little more than what is due on my credit cards and, unfortunately, a lot more than what was in my paycheck last week. My pay has dropped to the point that I qualify for the phone lifeline and I might actually quallify for other forms of assistance. I'm trying to get more cash jobs (like dog and house sitting) but "timez iz tuff fo' ev'rybody."

I guess I'm done whining. Next time I'll try to write about something happier, like Seth Macfarlane as a celtic vampire. What? You don't think he's sexy?

CA Economic Development Department - Welcome to Unemployment

I was laid off from the engineering firm and was eligible to receive unemployment. While it was not the first time I qualified for unemployment since moving to California, it was the first time the benefit amount was enough to live on.

I went to the jobs center and talked to a counselor who gave me a bunch of pamphlets and some websites to check out. I qualified for job retraining and went about finding a program that would get me stated on a new career. I registered for massage school because DESPITE the nursing shortage and teacher shortage (and my already having a Bachelor's degree), the state of California would NOT pay my unemployment benefits if I went back to school to get teaching or nursing credentials. I was told point blank:

CA-EDD: Only 2 yr programs
Me: It will only take me 6 months to get my teaching credentials and nursing is an 18-month program
CA-EDD: It has to be a vocational program.
Me: Nursing....?
CA-EDD: Vocational Schools, cosmetology, hairdresser, medical assistant...
Me: So the state will pay for me to be unemployed while training to get a minimum wage job but won't help me get off unemployment, and stay off unemployment, by training me for a job that is vitally needed and uses my college degree?
CA-EDD: Yep.

After that wakeup call from reality, I did some research and decided to finally listen to my friends who have been telling me for the better part of a decade that I should start my own business. I went to Bryman (now Merick Career College) and got a crash course in financial aid. I researched some other schools and programs and registered for massage classes.

When I contacted EDD to let them know I was registered for a program, the very kind lady I had the previous conversation with told me I couldn't just regster for a program but had to wait until I was approved! As an office administrator, there was no job shortage in my category so I might not qualify afterall for job-retraining. This may have been the second time I told her:

Me: I will slit my own throat before taking another cubical job.
CA-EDD: So you're scheduled to start January 8? Oh-kay, you'll recieve your first claim form in the mail this week. Make sure you fill it out completely and have someone from the school sign it to show you are in an approved program. You won't recieve any funds on your first two claims but then you will be covered for the time you are in the approved program.

Funny, eh.

If you are wondering why California s bankrupt, reread these two conversations until it sinks in.