Six Weeks Notice - #MerryChristmas

Thanks to ridiculous policies and endless Propositions, I have left the ungovernable Republic of California. I am now in the Empire State and things are only a little better financially.

I must have incurred some serious job karma for bragging that I "got a full time job with benefits after driving cross country with no prospects only two weeks after arriving in NY" because I was just told yesterday by my manager that my store will be closing on Jan 25, 2012 and that we must vacate by Jan 31, 2012. There are no current opportunities for transfer. Another store in our district is also closing.

On the bright side, working full time has raised what my unemployment payout will be.
Happy Holidays.

Does anyone else feel "Blue" in October?

It's not like I don't have a calender... I shouldn't be so surprised but I am.
Every year I get slammed by this massive depression out of nowhere and can't shake it or explain it until it passes. In the meantime, I'm in HELL.

I wonder:

• Why am I here?
• Why don't my friends return phone calls?
• Why don't I have more money?
• Why don't I have a better job?
• Why can't I find a boyfriend?
• Why? WHY? Why?! Waaaaahhhhhh!

Then I remember: Halloween is my favorite holiday but I have no one to go trick or treating with. I am supposed to be a grown-up. Suck it up. Go to work. Move on.

Then I also remember, I have a birthday coming up (more depression --> I'm getting OLD!!!!) and unless you are turning 1-7, 16, 21, 30, 50, 75, or 100, NO ONE WILL THROW YOU A PARTY! You have to do it yourself. Be a grown-up. Move on.

If I got off my behind and went for a walk or did some exercise I would feel better but the ONLY thing getting me out of bed is the threat of losing my job.

I didn't used to feel this way. September and October were great for me because I LOVE Indian Summer. The fall clothes always fit my curvier figure. The colors flatter my skin. Boots are stylish AND sensible! The air is breathable and everything is crisp and full of rich color. Instead of the bleached pastels from the end of summer; gold, red and orange leaves are on the trees and the sun hangs lower creating amazing sunrises and sunsets.

The moon seemed fuller too.

I know that I get "blue" because:

• I have a "lunar" cycle that tends to skip after a time zone change. (went on vaca with the fam in august again, Doh!)
• My car insurance AND rent AND school loans are all due within a week of each other in October.
• My friends are busy because everyone just settled into post-vacation work flows and we're now gearing up for "The HoliDAZE."
• I'm so angry at myself for not remembering to prepare for my ANNUAL October crash.

TALKING about eating right and exercising IS NOT THE SAME AS DOING!

At least I had oatmeal for breakfast instead of an egg mcmuffin.