I want to write something important but don't really feel qualified. The older I get, the less qualified or capable I feel to do anything. I alternate between feeling like a failure or a fraud especially when somone my age says "oh, you're young, you have plenty of time" because they honestly think I am ten years younger than I am.
Someone on Twitter said Self-respect is knowing you have instrinsic value; Self-esteem is the hope others will value you.
I've never been confident of the first and continue to lose the second. I think the two are cross-correlated; when one is high, the other is low but in my case both are low right now. My whole life I was told I wasn't "working up to my potential" but no one could answer "potential for what?".
I've been hanging out with some bloggers lately and am finding myself in awe of their ability to do live their lives openly, honestly, and (as far as I can tell) responsibly. Most of them are 5-10 years younger than me. They are hard working, smart, resourceful and not prone to complaining. They all seem to know what they want out of life, are very aware of what is going on in the world and how it affects them and are on track to acheiving their goals. I guess what's bothering me is I haven't come any closer to acheiving my goals than when I moved out here to "start" my life.
