CA Economic Development Department - Welcome to Unemployment

I was laid off from the engineering firm and was eligible to receive unemployment. While it was not the first time I qualified for unemployment since moving to California, it was the first time the benefit amount was enough to live on.

I went to the jobs center and talked to a counselor who gave me a bunch of pamphlets and some websites to check out. I qualified for job retraining and went about finding a program that would get me stated on a new career. I registered for massage school because DESPITE the nursing shortage and teacher shortage (and my already having a Bachelor's degree), the state of California would NOT pay my unemployment benefits if I went back to school to get teaching or nursing credentials. I was told point blank:

CA-EDD: Only 2 yr programs
Me: It will only take me 6 months to get my teaching credentials and nursing is an 18-month program
CA-EDD: It has to be a vocational program.
Me: Nursing....?
CA-EDD: Vocational Schools, cosmetology, hairdresser, medical assistant...
Me: So the state will pay for me to be unemployed while training to get a minimum wage job but won't help me get off unemployment, and stay off unemployment, by training me for a job that is vitally needed and uses my college degree?
CA-EDD: Yep.

After that wakeup call from reality, I did some research and decided to finally listen to my friends who have been telling me for the better part of a decade that I should start my own business. I went to Bryman (now Merick Career College) and got a crash course in financial aid. I researched some other schools and programs and registered for massage classes.

When I contacted EDD to let them know I was registered for a program, the very kind lady I had the previous conversation with told me I couldn't just regster for a program but had to wait until I was approved! As an office administrator, there was no job shortage in my category so I might not qualify afterall for job-retraining. This may have been the second time I told her:

Me: I will slit my own throat before taking another cubical job.
CA-EDD: So you're scheduled to start January 8? Oh-kay, you'll recieve your first claim form in the mail this week. Make sure you fill it out completely and have someone from the school sign it to show you are in an approved program. You won't recieve any funds on your first two claims but then you will be covered for the time you are in the approved program.

Funny, eh.

If you are wondering why California s bankrupt, reread these two conversations until it sinks in.

Dating News

What do you do when the person you like lives out of town and the person you love is completely off limits?

If you're an Executive Wife, you volunteer. As a "Lady Who Lunches" in training, I'm on the Board of Directors of a local non-profit and a "valued volunteer" with not one, not two, not three, ... but six (yes SIX) charity organizations.

Because of my experience, I've been recruited to assist the founder of a seventh non-profit make contacts/build relationships in the community.

If only these could be business related...then I could do some of this from work.

If you are wondering why I titled this "Dating News"... I met the person I "like" at a non-profit event. He is nice, handsome, "gets" that I volunteer, has his own business, and possibly shares my politics. The person I may be in love with I met through work and is everything I asked God for when I made a little pact with him. Don't ever try to negotiate with the guy upstairs. I slipped on my end of the bargain and he sent the guy I like out of town and made sure the guy I may be in love with is completely, absoutely, undeniably off-limits.
Needless to say, I have energy to burn.

Make that eight charities.

The Envelope Please...

I was invited to participate as an event volunteer at Esquire Magazine's Oscar viewing party to benefit AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA).
My celebrity Oscar experience began as my friend and I waited in traffic alongside Oscar Nominee Dame Judi Dench. While Dame Judi’s limo crawled up Santa Monica Blvd. to the Kodak Theatre, the West Hollywood Sheriff’s department directed us onto Robertson to the appropriate valet queue.
There were at least three Oscar benefits on Robertson (Esquire Party to benefit APLA at the Abbey, The Trevor Project next door, and Celebration of Artistic Freedom across the street at Pearl) while the Vanity Fair Party at Morton’s was around the corner on Melrose and the Elton John Fundraiser was at Pacific Design Center.
We were escorted to the guest check-in table after taking the express walk BEHIND the press wall (you know, the wall of sponsor logos that al the celebrities get to walk in front of for the paparazzi). The event sponsors were kind enough to put a smaller logo wall on the non-celebrity side for those of us who wanted our “red carpet moment.” I started a trend for cheesy group photos after my friend took my photo with my cell phone.
Our official duties began after we were escorted to the volunteer waiting area (the lawn behind the restaurant was very glamorous) and given our staff badges – finish assembling the “goodie bags” (3 cd’s from the Disney, bottled water from the Abbey, current issue of Esquire, a mini-bottle of Finlandia vodka, and Marc Jacobs perfume for the ladies or cologne for the men). While guests arrived, we also served as Escorts from the registration area to the restaurant and then to their tables. One guest who received the VIP treatment was Olympic snowboarding gold-medalist Shaun White (http://www.shaunwhite.com/). I got to escort Michael Maloney of “EXTREME MAKEOVER: Home Edition.” (He’s 6’3”, has a super-dark tan, and is absolutely adorable!)
Sandwiches were provided for the staff/volunteers but the event planners were actually quite generous. They encouraged us to go through the buffet line and try some of the FABULOUS food and let us know they “have no objections to a volunteer having a drink, but if we see a “sloppy” volunteer, [you] will be escorted to the door.” No such advice was needed, (most of the volunteers were either abstaining or mindful of Monday being a workday) but the open invitation to enjoy ourselves was greatly appreciated. I enjoyed the Brokeback Martini recommended by the bartender.
The theme for the Oscars was “return to Glamour” and most of the wardrobe definitely reflected that. There was a lot of 50’s retro fashion on both the men and ladies and it looked MAH-VO-LUS!
Jennifer Love Hewitt was the official hostess of the event but I didn’t see her there. Other celebrities “scheduled to appear” were Lauralee Bell and Sheryl Lee Ralph. We saw Sheryl being interviewed as she was coming in and we were leaving.
After the awards show when our shift ended, our event host said we could stay if we wanted because the dancing would start at nine. My friend and I boogied for an hour and I had a great time.

Designer Challenge

What do you do when you have a design background and a $20,000 budget to make over an office? You've been mandated to use "sustainable design" and try to make it "not cookie cutter."
My response was to hire a professional.

O.M.G. I am learning so much!

Did you know it's normal for contractors not to return phone calls?
Did you know that no matter how low a price you quote something, your designer or contractor will say "Mai Gai can do it cheaper/better"? Who is this "Mai Gai"? And why does everyone but me already know him?
Don't be afraid of color doesn't mean we're using something bright and/or edgy. "Don't be afraid of color" means the contractor is going to try to charge you double for taping and prep work he didn't do, a second or third coat of paint you don't need and didn't ask for, and a textured finish you specifically gave instructions to avoid.
"We're going to give the carpet movement" means the designer is having the carpet installer cut out an abstract design with contrasting colors so you have to follow her furniture plan. It also means they can charge an extra thousand dollars for the install and will add a week to the install because you're going to have to wait for each color to arrive in SEPARATE SHIPMENTS.
No matter what budget controls you have in place, your designer and contractor will find a way to push past it. (like excersise cramps or a headache) Always be wary of conversations that start with "I know it's a little late in the game, but..." but don't shoot it down out-of-hand. If you are the flexible type, sometimes that phrase can save you money.

I know I may sound bitter, but I was supposed to move into our new office 6 weeks ago and now won't be able to move in for another two weeks. My desk hasn't been built yet and our designer is still suggesting furniture alternatives (but we allowed that last part because it is actually saving us money). I should be grateful this is just the office and not my home...my boss is remodeling his home and they can't get a cotnractor to return a phone call let alon finish the bathroom. HIS boss paid a contractor to do some exterior work and hasn't seen the guy since. I am grateful.
Really.
Counting the days til we move....

Executive Wife Action Doll

It finally happened.
After years of paranoid nighmares that I would crash in an elevator (thank you THE EXORCIST), I got stuck in one.
I was stuck for 30 minutes -- It felt like two hours.

(no Musak to pass the time either!)

Allow me to set the scene:
The office manager forgot she had an Express package that needed to ship today and I hadn't been out of the office at all, so (no good deed goes unpunished) I offered to take it down to the drop box for her.

Now, I've been thinking for awhile now that I should take the stairs since we are on a lower floor, but... (yeah, I know). So I took the elevator down with no incident, dropped the package off, even went for a little walk around the building to stretch my legs... (scintillating, my life is)...I get on the elevator and notice someone approaching as the doors close. I do what anyone in a good mood would do (despite my thoughts of "leave it, they'll catch the next one") and press "DOOR OPEN."

The door stops halfway.

I press "DOOR OPEN" again and nothing happens.

I press "DOOR CLOSE" and the door closes -- or so I think until the elevator starts moving up.
I stop singing SISTERS and look at the door when I hear the door mechanism on the car hit the door mechanism on the shaft (word of the day it seems) and ... the elevator stops.

The door is open two inches and I am stuck 11 inches below my floor.

SPECIAL NOTE TO BUILDING ENGINEERS: Make sure the phones in your elevator cars actually dial a WORKING NUMBER. I pressed the alarm bell, not loud and obnoxious, just enough to get someone's attention.
I noticed the emergency phone and figured, "what the heck" and give it a try.
"We're sorry. The number you have dialed has been changed to ###-###-####. Please make a note of it." (Not very reassuring folks. )
Finally one of my building neighbors calls the building engineer and lets my office mates know where I am.
SPECIAL NOTE TO WOULD-BE RESCUERS: Don't, I repeat, DON'T try to pry the doors open when someone is stuck in an elevator. I know, they always do this in the movies and on Television but there isn't a stunt team waiting to take over if you screw up. All you will do is break the equipment further and risk the life of whoever is in the elevator. Leave it to the professionals so if something goes wrong, they get sued.
The building engineer realized the door mechanisms weren't working so he decided to "reset" the elevator. While he was figuring out how to do this, my co-workers had this to say:

1. Are you O.K.?
2. I can see you (they weren't interested in my "would-be rescuers" advice).
3. Maybe we should open the door and you just step up?

While this is going on, the building engineer calls me on the emergency phone. SECOND NOTE TO RESCUERS: don't figure things out out loud. It generally isn't a good idea for the person you are supposed to be helping to hear you panic.
And now for the grand ACTION ADVENTURE FINALE: he reset the elevator, I pressed "DOOR CLOSE" again, and the doors closed! BUT THE ELEVATOR DOESN'T MOVE..(Wow, you've been on pins and needles this whole time. Right?) ...so I press my floor's button and, Tada! I am safely delivered to my floor to hugs and applause. (and a Nabisco cookie -- one of my co-workers thought I would be famished after my ordeal.)

You've made it this far, so I can tell you the BEST PART: I didn't look at the package I was given so neither the office manager or I noticed that it didn't have a label on it. (All dat fo nuttin!)

Day One

This is the blog of an "Executive Wife." Please don't confuse me with the "office girl" or the boss's girlfriend.
If we're operating under stereotypes, wives don't have sex; that's what girlfriend's are for.
The real posts will start soon...