Six Weeks Notice - #MerryChristmas

Thanks to ridiculous policies and endless Propositions, I have left the ungovernable Republic of California. I am now in the Empire State and things are only a little better financially.

I must have incurred some serious job karma for bragging that I "got a full time job with benefits after driving cross country with no prospects only two weeks after arriving in NY" because I was just told yesterday by my manager that my store will be closing on Jan 25, 2012 and that we must vacate by Jan 31, 2012. There are no current opportunities for transfer. Another store in our district is also closing.

On the bright side, working full time has raised what my unemployment payout will be.
Happy Holidays.

I Haz Cookey Nao?

I got the above image from actor Kevin Sorbo's twitter feed (@KSorbs). See last year when I wrote "Should I Realy Be Blogging,"I thought of myself as a Liberal, and I thought this was a good thing. I was exploring other points of view because people I had been trained/socialized/conditioned to listen to weren't making sense to me anymore or were just offending me with their rudeness and/or hysteria.
This is actually one of the more inocuous status updates this particular facebook friend posted. I only have the redacted screencap because it was also posted on twitter so I saved it when I saw it.

I started watching an online talk show called The Stage Right Show and got invited/sucked/absorbed into its chatroom culture. The folks were friendly and THEY MADE SENSE. The more I listened to the host, guests, and interacted with the chatroom regulars (and occasionally the trolls), the more I realized that I agreed with many of them... on MANY issues.

I had gone to one of their events and met some bloggers and radio hosts and one of them told me, based on my answers about specific issues that I wasn't a Fiscally Conservative Liberal but a Libertarian.

As the year went on, I had more education setbacks (thank you California Community College District) and had do deal with potentially more industry regulations for my profession (AB 1822) which drastically changed my worldview.

I swung through the pendulum to the Dark Side; I had become a CONSERVATIVE.

(and the Dark Side does have cookies)

TO BE CONTINUED...

Should I Really Be Blogging

I want to write something important but don't really feel qualified. The older I get, the less qualified or capable I feel to do anything. I alternate between feeling like a failure or a fraud especially when somone my age says "oh, you're young, you have plenty of time" because they honestly think I am ten years younger than I am.

Someone on Twitter said Self-respect is knowing you have instrinsic value; Self-esteem is the hope others will value you.

I've never been confident of the first and continue to lose the second. I think the two are cross-correlated; when one is high, the other is low but in my case both are low right now. My whole life I was told I wasn't "working up to my potential" but no one could answer "potential for what?".

I've been hanging out with some bloggers lately and am finding myself in awe of their ability to do live their lives openly, honestly, and (as far as I can tell) responsibly. Most of them are 5-10 years younger than me. They are hard working, smart, resourceful and not prone to complaining. They all seem to know what they want out of life, are very aware of what is going on in the world and how it affects them and are on track to acheiving their goals. I guess what's bothering me is I haven't come any closer to acheiving my goals than when I moved out here to "start" my life.

If my "pounds" were Sterling...

Sean Connery's wife was right, never say "never again."

• I SWORE I would never be a size 18; the $604.12 charged to Lane Bryant Christmas eve nixes that.
• I swore I would NEVER max out my credt cards; Discover $104 available, MC $1,000 avail (out of $13,500) and I got a new Amex with $53 left on it. (If you're the type to try and calculate fees and such: Discover = $42 min due 1/19/10, Amex = $24 due 1/19/10, MC = $142 due 1/17/10)
• I said I would never stay in a job I hated; well I don't hate my job but I am growing more resentful.
• I might have said I wouldn't stop training once I started again; fired my personal trainer last thursday because I can't bring myself to get up at 5:30 to be at her house by 6:15am.

This is ridiculous. IF I had stuck to my most recent diet pledge, I would weigh 12-16 pounds less than I do now and I would have been spending money on sexy size 14 outfits. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas (O.k., fine, on my birthday), I decided t'hell with the diet, I'll deal with everything after new years.

I'm the only person I know who can lose 1 1/2 pounds and GAIN TWO SIZES!

This is just very wrong. It's midnight and I probably could have (should have) gone for a walk. I tried to excercise at work today but that was more than a little depressing. I am out of shape and have a lung or sinus infection (dark yellow, greenish flem means infection NOT allergies) but I'm not hacking. It's on the edge; the throat is coated just enough that when I do exert myself, I'm hacking like a T.B. patient.

LOVELY.

Pound for pound, I'm worth $375.20 which is a little more than what is due on my credit cards and, unfortunately, a lot more than what was in my paycheck last week. My pay has dropped to the point that I qualify for the phone lifeline and I might actually quallify for other forms of assistance. I'm trying to get more cash jobs (like dog and house sitting) but "timez iz tuff fo' ev'rybody."

I guess I'm done whining. Next time I'll try to write about something happier, like Seth Macfarlane as a celtic vampire. What? You don't think he's sexy?

What on earth was I thinking?

I swore I wouldn't get sucked in but...I'm now the co-chair of a major fundraising event for a local cancer charity.
The first year we raised around $9k. The second year it was around $14k. This year: $3,440.
Yep, you read that correctly. The goal was to beat $25k and this is what we got. Now, the fact that we had a smaller committee and no chair-person until 2 weeks before the event might have played a part in this. And we also had some members who didn't listen when the local veterans made suggestions about the name of the event (it is held on the border of a nice neighborhood and one that is considered not-so-nice) which had a definite impact on sponsorships.
So, since I hate seeing things done half-way... I agreed to co-chair. A young politico I met at the event has agreed to go Half-sies with me on job duties and a wonderful friend who is already on the board of directors of a fledgling non-profit has agreed to serve on the planning committee. The photographer from the event has also agreed to help organize a portion of the event.
Oh, did I mention that today was my first day of school? Biology - studying for med school?
...more in the months to come...

Pins & Needles at work

I work for an acupuncturist now.
I thought I had left the admin world behind me after my last assistant job, but, here I am again . . . The Executive Wife.
The funny part is she's a wife too (He works in entertainment).

Working for a "working mom" has it's ups and downs but this time around has been more up than down. She is very supportive of my new business (more on that later) and my volunteer work. She has been mentoring me on some personal issues.

And, two words: FREE ACUPUNCTURE.

I'll be back in a week or so to update this puppy.

CA Economic Development Department - Welcome to Unemployment

I was laid off from the engineering firm and was eligible to receive unemployment. While it was not the first time I qualified for unemployment since moving to California, it was the first time the benefit amount was enough to live on.

I went to the jobs center and talked to a counselor who gave me a bunch of pamphlets and some websites to check out. I qualified for job retraining and went about finding a program that would get me stated on a new career. I registered for massage school because DESPITE the nursing shortage and teacher shortage (and my already having a Bachelor's degree), the state of California would NOT pay my unemployment benefits if I went back to school to get teaching or nursing credentials. I was told point blank:

CA-EDD: Only 2 yr programs
Me: It will only take me 6 months to get my teaching credentials and nursing is an 18-month program
CA-EDD: It has to be a vocational program.
Me: Nursing....?
CA-EDD: Vocational Schools, cosmetology, hairdresser, medical assistant...
Me: So the state will pay for me to be unemployed while training to get a minimum wage job but won't help me get off unemployment, and stay off unemployment, by training me for a job that is vitally needed and uses my college degree?
CA-EDD: Yep.

After that wakeup call from reality, I did some research and decided to finally listen to my friends who have been telling me for the better part of a decade that I should start my own business. I went to Bryman (now Merick Career College) and got a crash course in financial aid. I researched some other schools and programs and registered for massage classes.

When I contacted EDD to let them know I was registered for a program, the very kind lady I had the previous conversation with told me I couldn't just regster for a program but had to wait until I was approved! As an office administrator, there was no job shortage in my category so I might not qualify afterall for job-retraining. This may have been the second time I told her:

Me: I will slit my own throat before taking another cubical job.
CA-EDD: So you're scheduled to start January 8? Oh-kay, you'll recieve your first claim form in the mail this week. Make sure you fill it out completely and have someone from the school sign it to show you are in an approved program. You won't recieve any funds on your first two claims but then you will be covered for the time you are in the approved program.

Funny, eh.

If you are wondering why California s bankrupt, reread these two conversations until it sinks in.