Questions prompted by Continuum Review on The Nerd Machine

Continuum: Politics of Time The Nerd Machine

has Kellog figured out Alec is helping Kiera? Why haven't Liber8 gone after the founder of Sadtech?  Or does Kagame know Alec's brother? And why doesn't Kiera know anything (at least historical "facts") about Alec's family?

Six Weeks Notice - #MerryChristmas

Thanks to ridiculous policies and endless Propositions, I have left the ungovernable Republic of California. I am now in the Empire State and things are only a little better financially.

I must have incurred some serious job karma for bragging that I "got a full time job with benefits after driving cross country with no prospects only two weeks after arriving in NY" because I was just told yesterday by my manager that my store will be closing on Jan 25, 2012 and that we must vacate by Jan 31, 2012. There are no current opportunities for transfer. Another store in our district is also closing.

On the bright side, working full time has raised what my unemployment payout will be.
Happy Holidays.

I Haz Cookey Nao?

I got the above image from actor Kevin Sorbo's twitter feed (@KSorbs). See last year when I wrote "Should I Realy Be Blogging,"I thought of myself as a Liberal, and I thought this was a good thing. I was exploring other points of view because people I had been trained/socialized/conditioned to listen to weren't making sense to me anymore or were just offending me with their rudeness and/or hysteria.
This is actually one of the more inocuous status updates this particular facebook friend posted. I only have the redacted screencap because it was also posted on twitter so I saved it when I saw it.

I started watching an online talk show called The Stage Right Show and got invited/sucked/absorbed into its chatroom culture. The folks were friendly and THEY MADE SENSE. The more I listened to the host, guests, and interacted with the chatroom regulars (and occasionally the trolls), the more I realized that I agreed with many of them... on MANY issues.

I had gone to one of their events and met some bloggers and radio hosts and one of them told me, based on my answers about specific issues that I wasn't a Fiscally Conservative Liberal but a Libertarian.

As the year went on, I had more education setbacks (thank you California Community College District) and had do deal with potentially more industry regulations for my profession (AB 1822) which drastically changed my worldview.

I swung through the pendulum to the Dark Side; I had become a CONSERVATIVE.

(and the Dark Side does have cookies)

TO BE CONTINUED...

Should I Really Be Blogging (Part 2)

In June I met some amazing people and wrote a very Eyeore "poor Me" post questioning whether or not I should be blogging. I had been making progress in school and was feeling like I could make some positive changes. I just didn't have any clue about what those changes should be.
The CA Community College District did a bang-up job of kicing one of the biggest changes temporaily to the curb. I am going to go to nursing school.
I was registered for a class that I NEED in order to continue my education but the school canceled 2/3 of their classes (and mine was one of them).
It took me 3 YEARS to get into that class.
I had said if I don't finish this winter session, then I'm going to private school ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY. I've started the application process and talked to counselors; this should be interesting.
Wish me luck. Better yet, pray for success.

Should I Really Be Blogging

I want to write something important but don't really feel qualified. The older I get, the less qualified or capable I feel to do anything. I alternate between feeling like a failure or a fraud especially when somone my age says "oh, you're young, you have plenty of time" because they honestly think I am ten years younger than I am.

Someone on Twitter said Self-respect is knowing you have instrinsic value; Self-esteem is the hope others will value you.

I've never been confident of the first and continue to lose the second. I think the two are cross-correlated; when one is high, the other is low but in my case both are low right now. My whole life I was told I wasn't "working up to my potential" but no one could answer "potential for what?".

I've been hanging out with some bloggers lately and am finding myself in awe of their ability to do live their lives openly, honestly, and (as far as I can tell) responsibly. Most of them are 5-10 years younger than me. They are hard working, smart, resourceful and not prone to complaining. They all seem to know what they want out of life, are very aware of what is going on in the world and how it affects them and are on track to acheiving their goals. I guess what's bothering me is I haven't come any closer to acheiving my goals than when I moved out here to "start" my life.

I qualify for unemployment. Thank You... but I'd rather work.

I've worked multiple jobs in a variety of industries for the past 25 years, but was laid off from a part-time job in an acupuncture clinic this month.

When I was laid off, everyone (including my now former employer) said "Oh, but you can collect unemployment!" like it was some pinnacle career acheivment. I've been on unemployment. I did not like unemployment. I do NOT WANT TO BE ON UNEMPLOYMENT - I WANT TO WORK.

Unemployment benefits are calculated on the previous 18 months income. Unfortunately, my employer decided to close her clinic and go to Israel for 6 weeks in July/August. Combine this with most of my clients being in the film and television industry (end of hiatus = low funds or no time for massage) and I had next to no income all of August. Explains the "growing more resentful" comment from December, eh?

My salary at the clinic was $12/hr and I was scheduled for 20hrs/wk. I made a whopping $240 per week. This was my "rent" job because it covered my rent, utilities, and occasionally my DSL if I worked overtime. Thank G-d for rent control. The job that allegedly pays my credit card debt (from my forced underemployment in August), school tuition and fees, charity expenses, and the occasional beer that is my social life is my massage business. Unfortunately, my best client has now decided to "take a break" and I am out $1110 per month until I can recruit more clients. Easier said than done.

My monthly "nut" (rent, dwp, phone, insurance, car) is $2200/month. If I'm lucky, I make $200/wk at the spa. I've gotten a couple of potential new prvate clients but no one willing to commit to a weekly, biweekly, or even monthly schedule. If I work half price ($45/hr massage), I need at least 12 1-hour appointments from private clients each week to cover my nut and business related expenses.

I'm being more aggressive in my marketing and picking up extra shifts and I've been dogsitting and doing some freelance administrative work to make ends meet but the job scramble means school is on hold (again). I was supposed to start nursing school this fall but the California budget cuts meant the classes I need were not being offered. Now it looks like I may have to move back in with my folks inorder to start school next fall.

*SIGH*

Fighting Cancer...It Takes More Than Just Medicine.

A friend sent this to me. The speakers are all very knowledgable.

Saturday, March 27th, 2010
1:00pm - 3:00pm

Art Institute of California-Hollywood
5250 Lankershim Blvd. Room 302. North Hollywood. 91601
(Corner of Lankershim and Weddington-Free Parking across street at NoHo Commons)

"Stopping Stressors, Breaking Habits and Tapping Personal Energy"
workshop by Jack Witt,
Lifestyle Fitness Coach of Get Fit with Witt

"Guidelines For A Healthier Lifestyle"
by Bryanne O'Leary,
American Cancer Society

"Fighting Back in Your Community"
by Veronica Reeves,
Relay for Life Event Chair.

RSVP suggested to vanessa.diperri@cancer.org or 213-427-7291.

Light refreshments will be served

Correlation Does Not Equal Causation

For fun: Correlation of US State with the number of clicks on online banners | R-statistics blog

Blogger Tal Galili wrote an excellent post demonstrating how simple correlations can be fun to graph and make "good?" headlines but not necessarily reflect what is actually being observed/studied.
He recommend empirical research and a heirarchy of evidence be used to support claims and that that evidence be fact based. click the link above to get the full story.

If my "pounds" were Sterling...

Sean Connery's wife was right, never say "never again."

• I SWORE I would never be a size 18; the $604.12 charged to Lane Bryant Christmas eve nixes that.
• I swore I would NEVER max out my credt cards; Discover $104 available, MC $1,000 avail (out of $13,500) and I got a new Amex with $53 left on it. (If you're the type to try and calculate fees and such: Discover = $42 min due 1/19/10, Amex = $24 due 1/19/10, MC = $142 due 1/17/10)
• I said I would never stay in a job I hated; well I don't hate my job but I am growing more resentful.
• I might have said I wouldn't stop training once I started again; fired my personal trainer last thursday because I can't bring myself to get up at 5:30 to be at her house by 6:15am.

This is ridiculous. IF I had stuck to my most recent diet pledge, I would weigh 12-16 pounds less than I do now and I would have been spending money on sexy size 14 outfits. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas (O.k., fine, on my birthday), I decided t'hell with the diet, I'll deal with everything after new years.

I'm the only person I know who can lose 1 1/2 pounds and GAIN TWO SIZES!

This is just very wrong. It's midnight and I probably could have (should have) gone for a walk. I tried to excercise at work today but that was more than a little depressing. I am out of shape and have a lung or sinus infection (dark yellow, greenish flem means infection NOT allergies) but I'm not hacking. It's on the edge; the throat is coated just enough that when I do exert myself, I'm hacking like a T.B. patient.

LOVELY.

Pound for pound, I'm worth $375.20 which is a little more than what is due on my credit cards and, unfortunately, a lot more than what was in my paycheck last week. My pay has dropped to the point that I qualify for the phone lifeline and I might actually quallify for other forms of assistance. I'm trying to get more cash jobs (like dog and house sitting) but "timez iz tuff fo' ev'rybody."

I guess I'm done whining. Next time I'll try to write about something happier, like Seth Macfarlane as a celtic vampire. What? You don't think he's sexy?

November is Write a novel month?

anyone doing this? should i write about the amazon queen i've been researching? does anyone read this blog?

Does anyone else feel "Blue" in October?

It's not like I don't have a calender... I shouldn't be so surprised but I am.
Every year I get slammed by this massive depression out of nowhere and can't shake it or explain it until it passes. In the meantime, I'm in HELL.

I wonder:

• Why am I here?
• Why don't my friends return phone calls?
• Why don't I have more money?
• Why don't I have a better job?
• Why can't I find a boyfriend?
• Why? WHY? Why?! Waaaaahhhhhh!

Then I remember: Halloween is my favorite holiday but I have no one to go trick or treating with. I am supposed to be a grown-up. Suck it up. Go to work. Move on.

Then I also remember, I have a birthday coming up (more depression --> I'm getting OLD!!!!) and unless you are turning 1-7, 16, 21, 30, 50, 75, or 100, NO ONE WILL THROW YOU A PARTY! You have to do it yourself. Be a grown-up. Move on.

If I got off my behind and went for a walk or did some exercise I would feel better but the ONLY thing getting me out of bed is the threat of losing my job.

I didn't used to feel this way. September and October were great for me because I LOVE Indian Summer. The fall clothes always fit my curvier figure. The colors flatter my skin. Boots are stylish AND sensible! The air is breathable and everything is crisp and full of rich color. Instead of the bleached pastels from the end of summer; gold, red and orange leaves are on the trees and the sun hangs lower creating amazing sunrises and sunsets.

The moon seemed fuller too.

I know that I get "blue" because:

• I have a "lunar" cycle that tends to skip after a time zone change. (went on vaca with the fam in august again, Doh!)
• My car insurance AND rent AND school loans are all due within a week of each other in October.
• My friends are busy because everyone just settled into post-vacation work flows and we're now gearing up for "The HoliDAZE."
• I'm so angry at myself for not remembering to prepare for my ANNUAL October crash.

TALKING about eating right and exercising IS NOT THE SAME AS DOING!

At least I had oatmeal for breakfast instead of an egg mcmuffin.

Vacation

It's amazing when the most important decision of your day is "what color bra should I wear under that shirt?" I haven't had to type anything or rewite anything or enter any Quickbooks. (Yes, I will have a stack of that when I return, but, ...)
I've been visiting family and friends this week and it's been fun. I chose the one friend a day patern instead of the group party I did last year.
I'm getting anxious because I'm not used to living without a car. Bloody inconvenient. But hey, that's why G-- made feet.

Ghostwriter

One of the interesting parts of my job is that my employer is a phenomenally talented acupuncturist. She has a great opportunity to share her knowledge with the world (she has a website, a blog, and is listed on numerous social networking pages). Unfortunately, English is her second language.
This is where I come in. We have an agreement that she will post something new to her blog every week. Before she can post it, I have to proofread it. What should take 15 minutes tops, took 5 hours today. I thought I had a handle on Five Element Theory but, OMG!, the nuance required to diagnose according to TCM makes memorizing the Merck catalog look like a simple parlor trick.

What on earth was I thinking?

I swore I wouldn't get sucked in but...I'm now the co-chair of a major fundraising event for a local cancer charity.
The first year we raised around $9k. The second year it was around $14k. This year: $3,440.
Yep, you read that correctly. The goal was to beat $25k and this is what we got. Now, the fact that we had a smaller committee and no chair-person until 2 weeks before the event might have played a part in this. And we also had some members who didn't listen when the local veterans made suggestions about the name of the event (it is held on the border of a nice neighborhood and one that is considered not-so-nice) which had a definite impact on sponsorships.
So, since I hate seeing things done half-way... I agreed to co-chair. A young politico I met at the event has agreed to go Half-sies with me on job duties and a wonderful friend who is already on the board of directors of a fledgling non-profit has agreed to serve on the planning committee. The photographer from the event has also agreed to help organize a portion of the event.
Oh, did I mention that today was my first day of school? Biology - studying for med school?
...more in the months to come...

Pins & Needles at work

I work for an acupuncturist now.
I thought I had left the admin world behind me after my last assistant job, but, here I am again . . . The Executive Wife.
The funny part is she's a wife too (He works in entertainment).

Working for a "working mom" has it's ups and downs but this time around has been more up than down. She is very supportive of my new business (more on that later) and my volunteer work. She has been mentoring me on some personal issues.

And, two words: FREE ACUPUNCTURE.

I'll be back in a week or so to update this puppy.

CA Economic Development Department - Welcome to Unemployment

I was laid off from the engineering firm and was eligible to receive unemployment. While it was not the first time I qualified for unemployment since moving to California, it was the first time the benefit amount was enough to live on.

I went to the jobs center and talked to a counselor who gave me a bunch of pamphlets and some websites to check out. I qualified for job retraining and went about finding a program that would get me stated on a new career. I registered for massage school because DESPITE the nursing shortage and teacher shortage (and my already having a Bachelor's degree), the state of California would NOT pay my unemployment benefits if I went back to school to get teaching or nursing credentials. I was told point blank:

CA-EDD: Only 2 yr programs
Me: It will only take me 6 months to get my teaching credentials and nursing is an 18-month program
CA-EDD: It has to be a vocational program.
Me: Nursing....?
CA-EDD: Vocational Schools, cosmetology, hairdresser, medical assistant...
Me: So the state will pay for me to be unemployed while training to get a minimum wage job but won't help me get off unemployment, and stay off unemployment, by training me for a job that is vitally needed and uses my college degree?
CA-EDD: Yep.

After that wakeup call from reality, I did some research and decided to finally listen to my friends who have been telling me for the better part of a decade that I should start my own business. I went to Bryman (now Merick Career College) and got a crash course in financial aid. I researched some other schools and programs and registered for massage classes.

When I contacted EDD to let them know I was registered for a program, the very kind lady I had the previous conversation with told me I couldn't just regster for a program but had to wait until I was approved! As an office administrator, there was no job shortage in my category so I might not qualify afterall for job-retraining. This may have been the second time I told her:

Me: I will slit my own throat before taking another cubical job.
CA-EDD: So you're scheduled to start January 8? Oh-kay, you'll recieve your first claim form in the mail this week. Make sure you fill it out completely and have someone from the school sign it to show you are in an approved program. You won't recieve any funds on your first two claims but then you will be covered for the time you are in the approved program.

Funny, eh.

If you are wondering why California s bankrupt, reread these two conversations until it sinks in.

Dating News

What do you do when the person you like lives out of town and the person you love is completely off limits?

If you're an Executive Wife, you volunteer. As a "Lady Who Lunches" in training, I'm on the Board of Directors of a local non-profit and a "valued volunteer" with not one, not two, not three, ... but six (yes SIX) charity organizations.

Because of my experience, I've been recruited to assist the founder of a seventh non-profit make contacts/build relationships in the community.

If only these could be business related...then I could do some of this from work.

If you are wondering why I titled this "Dating News"... I met the person I "like" at a non-profit event. He is nice, handsome, "gets" that I volunteer, has his own business, and possibly shares my politics. The person I may be in love with I met through work and is everything I asked God for when I made a little pact with him. Don't ever try to negotiate with the guy upstairs. I slipped on my end of the bargain and he sent the guy I like out of town and made sure the guy I may be in love with is completely, absoutely, undeniably off-limits.
Needless to say, I have energy to burn.

Make that eight charities.

The Envelope Please...

I was invited to participate as an event volunteer at Esquire Magazine's Oscar viewing party to benefit AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA).
My celebrity Oscar experience began as my friend and I waited in traffic alongside Oscar Nominee Dame Judi Dench. While Dame Judi’s limo crawled up Santa Monica Blvd. to the Kodak Theatre, the West Hollywood Sheriff’s department directed us onto Robertson to the appropriate valet queue.
There were at least three Oscar benefits on Robertson (Esquire Party to benefit APLA at the Abbey, The Trevor Project next door, and Celebration of Artistic Freedom across the street at Pearl) while the Vanity Fair Party at Morton’s was around the corner on Melrose and the Elton John Fundraiser was at Pacific Design Center.
We were escorted to the guest check-in table after taking the express walk BEHIND the press wall (you know, the wall of sponsor logos that al the celebrities get to walk in front of for the paparazzi). The event sponsors were kind enough to put a smaller logo wall on the non-celebrity side for those of us who wanted our “red carpet moment.” I started a trend for cheesy group photos after my friend took my photo with my cell phone.
Our official duties began after we were escorted to the volunteer waiting area (the lawn behind the restaurant was very glamorous) and given our staff badges – finish assembling the “goodie bags” (3 cd’s from the Disney, bottled water from the Abbey, current issue of Esquire, a mini-bottle of Finlandia vodka, and Marc Jacobs perfume for the ladies or cologne for the men). While guests arrived, we also served as Escorts from the registration area to the restaurant and then to their tables. One guest who received the VIP treatment was Olympic snowboarding gold-medalist Shaun White (http://www.shaunwhite.com/). I got to escort Michael Maloney of “EXTREME MAKEOVER: Home Edition.” (He’s 6’3”, has a super-dark tan, and is absolutely adorable!)
Sandwiches were provided for the staff/volunteers but the event planners were actually quite generous. They encouraged us to go through the buffet line and try some of the FABULOUS food and let us know they “have no objections to a volunteer having a drink, but if we see a “sloppy” volunteer, [you] will be escorted to the door.” No such advice was needed, (most of the volunteers were either abstaining or mindful of Monday being a workday) but the open invitation to enjoy ourselves was greatly appreciated. I enjoyed the Brokeback Martini recommended by the bartender.
The theme for the Oscars was “return to Glamour” and most of the wardrobe definitely reflected that. There was a lot of 50’s retro fashion on both the men and ladies and it looked MAH-VO-LUS!
Jennifer Love Hewitt was the official hostess of the event but I didn’t see her there. Other celebrities “scheduled to appear” were Lauralee Bell and Sheryl Lee Ralph. We saw Sheryl being interviewed as she was coming in and we were leaving.
After the awards show when our shift ended, our event host said we could stay if we wanted because the dancing would start at nine. My friend and I boogied for an hour and I had a great time.

Designer Challenge

What do you do when you have a design background and a $20,000 budget to make over an office? You've been mandated to use "sustainable design" and try to make it "not cookie cutter."
My response was to hire a professional.

O.M.G. I am learning so much!

Did you know it's normal for contractors not to return phone calls?
Did you know that no matter how low a price you quote something, your designer or contractor will say "Mai Gai can do it cheaper/better"? Who is this "Mai Gai"? And why does everyone but me already know him?
Don't be afraid of color doesn't mean we're using something bright and/or edgy. "Don't be afraid of color" means the contractor is going to try to charge you double for taping and prep work he didn't do, a second or third coat of paint you don't need and didn't ask for, and a textured finish you specifically gave instructions to avoid.
"We're going to give the carpet movement" means the designer is having the carpet installer cut out an abstract design with contrasting colors so you have to follow her furniture plan. It also means they can charge an extra thousand dollars for the install and will add a week to the install because you're going to have to wait for each color to arrive in SEPARATE SHIPMENTS.
No matter what budget controls you have in place, your designer and contractor will find a way to push past it. (like excersise cramps or a headache) Always be wary of conversations that start with "I know it's a little late in the game, but..." but don't shoot it down out-of-hand. If you are the flexible type, sometimes that phrase can save you money.

I know I may sound bitter, but I was supposed to move into our new office 6 weeks ago and now won't be able to move in for another two weeks. My desk hasn't been built yet and our designer is still suggesting furniture alternatives (but we allowed that last part because it is actually saving us money). I should be grateful this is just the office and not my home...my boss is remodeling his home and they can't get a cotnractor to return a phone call let alon finish the bathroom. HIS boss paid a contractor to do some exterior work and hasn't seen the guy since. I am grateful.
Really.
Counting the days til we move....

Executive Wife Action Doll

It finally happened.
After years of paranoid nighmares that I would crash in an elevator (thank you THE EXORCIST), I got stuck in one.
I was stuck for 30 minutes -- It felt like two hours.

(no Musak to pass the time either!)

Allow me to set the scene:
The office manager forgot she had an Express package that needed to ship today and I hadn't been out of the office at all, so (no good deed goes unpunished) I offered to take it down to the drop box for her.

Now, I've been thinking for awhile now that I should take the stairs since we are on a lower floor, but... (yeah, I know). So I took the elevator down with no incident, dropped the package off, even went for a little walk around the building to stretch my legs... (scintillating, my life is)...I get on the elevator and notice someone approaching as the doors close. I do what anyone in a good mood would do (despite my thoughts of "leave it, they'll catch the next one") and press "DOOR OPEN."

The door stops halfway.

I press "DOOR OPEN" again and nothing happens.

I press "DOOR CLOSE" and the door closes -- or so I think until the elevator starts moving up.
I stop singing SISTERS and look at the door when I hear the door mechanism on the car hit the door mechanism on the shaft (word of the day it seems) and ... the elevator stops.

The door is open two inches and I am stuck 11 inches below my floor.

SPECIAL NOTE TO BUILDING ENGINEERS: Make sure the phones in your elevator cars actually dial a WORKING NUMBER. I pressed the alarm bell, not loud and obnoxious, just enough to get someone's attention.
I noticed the emergency phone and figured, "what the heck" and give it a try.
"We're sorry. The number you have dialed has been changed to ###-###-####. Please make a note of it." (Not very reassuring folks. )
Finally one of my building neighbors calls the building engineer and lets my office mates know where I am.
SPECIAL NOTE TO WOULD-BE RESCUERS: Don't, I repeat, DON'T try to pry the doors open when someone is stuck in an elevator. I know, they always do this in the movies and on Television but there isn't a stunt team waiting to take over if you screw up. All you will do is break the equipment further and risk the life of whoever is in the elevator. Leave it to the professionals so if something goes wrong, they get sued.
The building engineer realized the door mechanisms weren't working so he decided to "reset" the elevator. While he was figuring out how to do this, my co-workers had this to say:

1. Are you O.K.?
2. I can see you (they weren't interested in my "would-be rescuers" advice).
3. Maybe we should open the door and you just step up?

While this is going on, the building engineer calls me on the emergency phone. SECOND NOTE TO RESCUERS: don't figure things out out loud. It generally isn't a good idea for the person you are supposed to be helping to hear you panic.
And now for the grand ACTION ADVENTURE FINALE: he reset the elevator, I pressed "DOOR CLOSE" again, and the doors closed! BUT THE ELEVATOR DOESN'T MOVE..(Wow, you've been on pins and needles this whole time. Right?) ...so I press my floor's button and, Tada! I am safely delivered to my floor to hugs and applause. (and a Nabisco cookie -- one of my co-workers thought I would be famished after my ordeal.)

You've made it this far, so I can tell you the BEST PART: I didn't look at the package I was given so neither the office manager or I noticed that it didn't have a label on it. (All dat fo nuttin!)